“Happy is the bride that the sun shines on” -Robert Herrick
Weeks prior to a wedding, there is no one more stressed than the bride herself. For someone who has been dreaming about walking the aisle ever since her husband-to-be proposed, she wants every aspect of her wedding to be perfect, and the way she envisioned it—anything less than stellar would be unacceptable. Considering how she has meticulously planned every detail of the big day, from scouring the best catering services in pasay (or wherever she might be) to the wedding souvenirs, it would be no surprise if some brides would be near breaking point days or even weeks before her wedding.
Knowing all this, it would be unwise for any of her guests to say something insensitive to her that would cause her to either get uncomfortable or riled up. Unfortunately, not all of her guests have enough tact to practice it, and some may be none the wiser. So, if you are attending a wedding anytime soon, here are some things that you should never say when you are conversing with the bride-to-be:
1.) “Why are you not inviting (name of your brother, a roommate of yours in college, a common friend, the bride’s ex)?”
It may sound like you are just curious, but for some brides-to-be, this can be a rather touchy and sensitive subject. Remember that everyone is accounted for during the wedding reception and more often than not, the couple pays per guest. Seeing as this would be the case, most couples would opt to invite only their closest family and friends to avoid exorbitant fees. Stay out of this, and just be thankful you even made it to their guest list instead.
2.) “You should be able to get whatever you want. It is your big day after all.”
While you probably mean well, the bride might not exactly feel that way. Consider that one of the most private and incredibly delicate matters of planning wedding is the budget, so it is best if you do not get involved. At all. Do not suggest something more expensive than what she has chosen as she likely has her reasons for choosing them (and you will only sound like an insensitive friend when you do). Besides, if she could afford them, she would probably be getting them.
3.) “When are you starting a family? Will you be having kids?”
Again, you may sound like you are naturally curious, but it may come off as if you are prying. This is none of your business. Comment about the wedding decorations or the food, but stay away from something personal to the bride and groom. Who knows? Even they have not even figured the answer to your question just yet.
4.) “Are you pregnant?”
No, just no. Of all the questions you should never ask the bride, this one has to be the most insensitive of them all and more often than not, you would be indirectly insulting the bride. You may have heard it from the other guests gossiping or so, but if the bride does not offer this information to you herself, do not ask confirmation from her.
5.) Do not mention anything about divorce
If you are a married guest, you may just want to shed some wisdom, and if you are unmarried, you may just want to offer a little insight. Regardless of what you are, however, you are going to sound resoundingly bitter to the bride, and it would seem like you are raining on her parade. Remember that this is her big day, so any gloomy talk about divorce, separations and general unhappiness should be avoided. Do not even try to joke about this if you do not want to be at the receiving end of the bride’s or her her other guests’ death glares.