“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Sam Keen
There are a lot of things to consider for a wedding: the venue for one, the catering, the menu, the wedding package in the Philippines you selected, the wedding dress—those among a myriad of other stuff you have to consider. You will be surprised however that what is mentioned in the preceding sentence is just a fraction of the entirety of your entire wedding day. With all this considered, it is almost a guarantee that there would be details you would overlook or worse, forget. Especially one that some might consider negligible like your wedding vows. Without a doubt, saying your wedding vows to your partner would take little to no time at all, but do take note that to them, this might be the best part of your wedding day.
In fact, what you might say in your wedding vows might contain the reasons why you both are getting married in the first place! So, with that in consideration, planning and writing out your wedding vows should be given as much importance as planning your wedding is. After all, you are only going through this wedding day once, and you might never get another appropriate moment to utter those promises to your partner, so be meticulous about your speech and make it with deliberate attention to how you feel for your partner.
Otherwise here are some things you should consider when writing your vows:
1.) Decide if you want to write it together
You wedding vow does not have to be a surprise spiel your spouse gets to hear only on the wedding day. However, if you wish it to be, there is also no harm in that—either way, you decide is the right way. These are your vows after all. However, even if you do decide to write it together, add a little element of surprise in your speech so that you are not really giving everything away before your big day. Consider the type of couple you and your partner are—if you like oversharing or are a bit conservative so that you will both be on the same page in writing your vows.
2.) Pick a structure you can both use as a jumping point
You and your partner can be vowing more or less similar things, and this is not necessarily a bad thing to consider. However, to have a semblance of clarity and organization in your overall speech. Come up with a structure or a phrase that you both use as a jumping point such as saying, “I promise” before your vows or “I vow”. Alternatively, you can share anecdotes about your relationship with your partner and after which, you can say your vows. Whichever way works fine.
3.) Decide on a realistic word-count maximum
While proclaiming your love to your partner without any constraints or limitations of any kind might seem like an excellent idea, you do not want your guests to doze off. They might be happy to witness your love and your union, but they are not exactly receptive to sitting through a thirty-minute vow. Set limitations such as putting a cap on your word count. Try to stay within that limit and avoid veering away from the topic.
4.) Include details
Make sure that your spiel would not sound like a generic piece of content someone might mistake for something you got off the Internet. Your speech has to be inspired, and it has to be personal. Pulling an inspired and personal speech compels you to include some details that might have symbolized your relationship. What made you fall for your partner? What are the things you do that they appreciate? From there, craft a speech that is suitably appropriate for you and your partner.
5.) Your vows are for you and your partner
Your vows do not necessarily have to sound like vows. At the end of the day, it is your wedding, and it should be definitive of how you and your partner are as a couple. If you wish to read a sonnet, read out and essay, sing or rap your vows, you can do so provided that this is the kind of couple you and your partner are. Your vows should sound like you—especially since you are making promises to your spouse.